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Daily Nuggets: A For Impact Blog

BREAKING NEWS … IRS ELIMINATES 501C(3) NOT-FOR-PROFIT DESIGNATION!!!


  • IRS ELIMINATES 501C(3) NOT-FOR-PROFIT DESIGNATION!!!
    The Internal Revenue Service has abolished their 1913 law that permits organizations to designate themselves as NOT-FOR-PROFITS.
    “This designation is contrary to all other industries, as it is the only one defined in the negative. In our usual show of logic and common sense, the IRS has eliminated this designation in the hopes that all ‘charities’ and ‘tax-exempt’ organizations will now focus on their IMPACT.” — An IRS Agent (who asked not to be identified)
  • FEDS MAKE DOING SPECIAL EVENTS (FOR FUNDRAISING PURPOSES) A FELONY!
    The Federal Government has ruled that there will be no more golf outings, galas and other special events that are not special and not events. *Signature Events and Memorable Experiences will still be allowed and encouraged.
    “This was the only way we could eliminate all of the events that were sucking up our time and energy and resources … with no real impact on our impact. Now I can blame the government when I tell our volunteers that we will no longer be holding Mostaccioli dinners or selling holes and tables for the golf outing.” — 1,840 Development Officers
  • SALES EXPERIENCE AND/OR ATTITUDE NOW REQUIRED FOR ALL SEARCHES AND ADVERTISEMENTS FOR DEVELOPMENT OR ADVANCEMENT STAFF!
    The Chronicle of Philanthropy has declared that it will no longer place adds for key Advancement or Development positions without listing a ‘Sales Requirement’.
    “While philanthropy is Greek for ‘friend of mankind’, the Editors of the Chronicle have finally come to the conclusion that all Impact organizations, and especially the Advancement/Development Teams, are in Sales. Get over it.” — Chronicle of Philanthropy Editors
  • 39 STATES BAN FEASIBILITY STUDIES! (Other 11 to soon follow.)
    States now require organizations to understand their purpose and priorities, do the math and be able to present the case and rationale for support, as well as where the funds will be used.
    *Leadership Consensus Building is still strongly encouraged and could be mandated by legislation by the end of 2014.
    “We have watched too many organizations spend huge amounts of money and time on consultants who are asked to go and present hypothetical campaigns with hypothetical priorities and asking for hypothetical gifts.” — Unidentified Governor
  • CFRE MEMBERS VOTE TO CHANGE THEIR NAME.
    By an almost unanimous vote, members designated Certified Fund Raising Executives have voted to change the name of their organization. A new name has not yet been presented, but the movement gaining the most support is to simply drop the ‘D’ in FUND!
    “I have been a CFRE since 1981 when it was founded. It has just hit me that the world has actually changed in the last 30 years. ‘Certified’ can mean crazy. ‘Fundraising’ is not the goal of any of our organizations. And ‘Executive’ implies that I am a ‘Suit’ in some ‘Office’ making (stupid) decisions.” — CFRE Member
    ***In related news, AFP will be changing their name from Association of Fundraising Professionals to Association of Forimpact Professionals, thereby still being able to use their acronym.
  • 300 THIRD SECTOR BOARD LEADERS COME TOGETHER AND DEMAND CHANGE IN VOCABULARY, NO MORE BOARD MEETINGS NO MORE COMMITTEES!!!
    Top philanthropists and community leaders came together under the auspices of the Gates, Skoll and Broad Foundations and demanded the following:
    • All For Impact Organizations must change their vocabulary! “We will no longer tolerate charities, donors, donations, solicitations, mission statements, warm fuzzy feelings, etc.”
    • No more Board Meetings! “None of us will attend Board Meetings that are bored meetings. We can read. We want to see, hear and touch the impact and results of our work.”
    • No More Committees. “The organization I’m working with has created a ‘Committee to Abolish Committees’.”
    *All of these leaders also agreed to actually THINK (bring their brain and experience) when asked to be On Board.
  • SUPREME COURT DECIDES ‘BLUE’ TEAMS AND ‘GREEN’ TEAMS MUST WORK TOGETHER!!!
    For the first time in recent memory, Supreme Court judges unanimously agreed on a ruling: Blue IMPACT TEAMS and Green SALES TEAMS must work together for the betterment of the organization. (The healthcare sector was identified as the primary example of hospital people and foundation people not talking to each other.)
    *The judges also ruled that any organization not working together and collaborating as a single unit will be declared a NFA. (Not-For-Anything)
  • CHARITY WATCH DOGS AGREE THAT COST OF FUNDRAISING EXCEEDING 95% IS IMMORAL AND UNETHICAL!!!
    Charity Watch, Charity Navigator and American Institute of Philanthropy also recommend that any cost of fundraising that exceeds 50% requires approval and sign off by every Board Member, the Senior Team and the Head of Development. Also recommend that cost above 50% be deducted from Development Staff salaries.
    “In UNCHARITABLE, I challenge this industry to re-think how it fundraises, especially around the idea that you need to spend money to make money. However, even I agree that 95¢ to raise a $1 is not good business.” — Dan Pallotta.
  • ‘JUST ASK’ IS DECLARED A GUIDING PRINCIPLE OF IMPACT SECTOR!!!
    From today forward, no one will be allowed to go on a visit without making some kind of ASK! OPPORTUNITY TO HELP must be presented on minimum of 80% of visits.
    “I do not want to be cultivated. At my grandparents’ farm, this was another word for spreading manure on plants. I do not want to be met with five times … without ever being told how I can help.” Every Busy Person on the Planet
  • ‘SOCIAL MEDIA’ PROVIDES ZERO NET DOLLARS TO HELP WITH IMPACT!
    Social media is great way for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google and others to make loads of money … but creates no ‘net’ anything for 501C(3) Third Sector Organizations.
    An in-depth study by six of the leading internet research firms has confidently determined that Social Media is not the Panacea/Holy Grail/Greatest Fundraising Tool ever invented.
    Contrary to what hundreds of ‘experts’ (X = Unknown Factor in Math, ‘Spurt’ is a drip of water under pressure. Unknown drips under pressure?) tout on the internet [of course] … this is not THE way to generate huge sums of money.
    These research firms agree that, unless you are the American Red Cross using a text response for a huge, compelling disaster … there is absolutely no net income available to help with your impact (using social media as a fundraising activity).
    ***This study did show one notable exception: Bono and U2 have 13 million ‘friends’ on Facebook. That is the number determined as the minimal number of friends required to raise money through social media.

The best way to raise the most amount of INCOME to fund your VISION is the ‘old fashioned’ way … human contact!

APRIL FOOLS … the ONION … or a BRAVE NEW WORLD? YOU GET TO DECIDE.